Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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