i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
