just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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