A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
