My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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