the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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