she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk