So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
two words...techno handjob
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia