I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.