Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
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"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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