..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize