I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
