Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize