I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
there is glitter all over my balls
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
