I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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