Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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