i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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