sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
