let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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