We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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