Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
