somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
