Buhtt sex?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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