well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
