How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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