: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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