this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
