How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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