dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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