Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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