the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
