Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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