she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
