I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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