Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
