question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
