I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
