guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
