just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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