cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
