the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
