Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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