apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
