I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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