I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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