Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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