just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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