You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
