I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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