two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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