My nipple is on Facebook.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
