she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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