So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
