did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
