Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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