No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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