Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
