I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
