Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize