I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
