A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
